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 Compulsive Behaviours Are you addicted? · Would you like to know how to get control?Whether your struggle is with cigarettes, food, overwork, relationships, gambling, etc. the cause is always the same. The cigarette, doughnut, or wager is not the problem. It is the effect not the cause. The cause is the feelings we get. We smoke, over-eat, or over-work because we want to feel good. The problem is the way we are choosing to feel good has a cost, this is why it can prove difficult to move on from a habit that helps us feel good, willpower is not enough. Why Willpower won't work Have you tried to give up an addiction by willpower? Did it work? Our clients agree that they have tried willpower many times without fail and it failed them every time! So, our Freedom from Addiction® Program does not rely on willpower because willpower on its own will never work. Why is this? It is simply because if we want to do something we will find a reason to do it, no matter what our willpower says. We teach not willpower, but Want-power. There is a world of difference. One is practically impossible, one is as easy and natural as smiling. If you don't Want to do something there's No problem, No conflict, No worries - is there? The Secret So how does our program work? It helps you discover the things that really motivate you. And you personally because what motivates you may not motivate me, we're all different. It a very simple and very effective insight. And best of all its fun. It shows you why you do what you do, and then shows you how to change how you feel about what you do from the inside out. Not the outside in, because as we all know when trying to make any change in life - buck-up-your-ideas or pep-talks don't work for long. It allows anyone to create quick, easy fun and painless life changes whenever they want to and shows you how to make meaningful and positive change in any area of your life. The First Question The first question all addicts ask themselves is "Why do I do what I do?" Why do I do something when I know there is a cost financially, emotionally and on my health? The addictive behaviour is not the problem. The problem is not the smoking, the drinking, the over-eating or the gambling. These behaviours are the effect, not the cause. The cause is the feelings we get from doing these things. What feelings do you get? For example, the reasons why people smoke is because of the way they feel about it. On some level, smoking makes them feel good. Thats why we smoke, over-eat or over-work - because we want to feel good. The solution is to change the way you feel about it. Lets restate that again. We want to feel good, so we smoke / watch TV / kiss our partner, because doing this makes us feel good. The Action is not the Cause, its the Effect. The cause is wanting to feel good, the effect is the way we feel good. Its not the Reason, its the Result. The reason we do anything is to get good feelings, the result of wanting good feelings is to smoke / watch TV / kiss our partner. If we want to stop doing something because of its negative effects, we need to find out why we feel good about it and then when we are ready, we can apply this information to change the way we feel about it. Program Overview In our Freedom from Addiction® Program, we outline · the reasons why we do what we do · reveal the real basis for how we as humans with heart and soul make decisions · show you how the decision to act compulsively is made the same way as any other decision in your life · then, reveal how to change the way you feel about this behaviour and receive all the benefits of that: good health, feeling empowered, confident, successful, etc How we make decisions As human beings, we often like to think that we are completely logical creatures and that we act rationally all the time. Sometimes we do act rationally, but this does not explain all of our behaviour. Why do we give money to an appeal where we never get to meet those who we have helped? Why do we stay up too late, why do we drink too much, why do we eat food that is not good for us? Why does someone give their life to save a complete stranger? The secret is that humans are basically emotional creatures that do whatever they want to do - whatever they feel like doing. If you have ever had sales training, you will already know that people buy with their feelings and then come up with reasons to justify what theyve already decided. We decide in our heart, and then make our mind up in our head! We buy on our feelings and then come up with the reasons why from our mind. We see a nice outfit, a new car or a yummy chocolate bar - and our heart says "I want it!" Then what happens? … Our mind usually responds with, "No, you really shoudnt … but, that outfit would look great with your new red shoes. Or, that car is much faster than the old one. Or …a few chocolate bars wont hurt." We do what we do because of how we feel, or how we imagine feeling, and then justify these things with our minds. Everyone who has ever given up anything has consciously or unconsciously gone through the same process that we outline. What they have done is to change the way they feel about their addiction and what it represents to them. What we have done in our course is unravelled the mystery of this process and we reveal to you the secret keys that show you how you can make any life change painlessly and whenever you want. We show you how to change the way you feel about your behaviour, at your own pace, in 7 logical steps. It requires no willpower. If willpower worked, you wouldn't be reading this - the secret, is want-power. If you don't want to do something you wont do it. If you do want to do something you will find an excuse to do it. Its as simple as that. What it isn't And, this is not a 'buck up your ideas!' course. Nobody responds to that kind of approach for long, it just makes you feel bad, and usually serves to entrench the behaviour further. We show you why you do what you do, why it is the easiest thing for you to do at the time to feel good and how to change that when you're ready to change. We show you why you should never feel guilty about yourself or about anything you do, and how to avoid guilt, which doesn't help you give up smoking and never serves you or anyone else. Guilt Our Freedom from Addiction® Program, also deals with the one thing that will bind you powerfully to the habit. Guilt. You feel bad, and you want to feel good so you behave addictively. When you behave addictively you feel guilty, so in order to feel good you behave addictively. And then you feel bad … and so on. There is only one solution to the issue of guilt: try your best not to feel guilty. Guilt is very selfish, self-indulgent and doesn't help you or those around you. No one ever stopped doing anything because they felt guilty about it. Be generous and forgive yourself. Let up on yourself, give yourself a break. Take a holiday from beating up on yourself. It is an impediment to feel guilty about something youve already decided to do. Be aware of what you're doing whilst you're doing it, but your guilt helps no-one. Probably every addict feels guilty, but you need to feel good about yourself in order to let go of your habit. But because the addiction makes you feel bad you can become caught in a vicious circle. Whats the answer? Break the guilt habit. If you follow our Freedom from Addiction® Program, one day you will wake up and not even think about your addiction. If you are a Smoker we have a wonderful tool for you in our free tools section that shows you how to get the relaxation effect of smoking when you cant smoke - say at your desk at work, or on a first date! What would you feel like if you could one day be free of your addiction? Would you like to begin to live your life free from compulsive behaviour? Please contact us to discuss our Freedom from Addiction Program® or see how your life could change positively by working with a Paradigms Ltd® Life Coach. · Checklist · Do you often feel that you do not have control over aspects of your behaviour? · Has your behaviour caused you or others distress or unhappiness? · Do you feel the need to defend your behaviour? · Has your behaviour interfered with your work or finances? · Have you previously tried to stop your behaviour? · Has your behaviour interfered with your relationships? · Is your behaviour affecting your health? · Free Coaching tool Revealing the Unconscious Will - Part 1 Would you like to know why you do what you do?Get a blank sheet of paper and draw up 2 columns. Label one side Pro's and the other Con's. Write the reasons both for (Pro's) and against (Con's) your behaviour under each column. Try to think of all the advantages (Pro's) and all the disadvantages (Con's) you can. Give everything a score 1-10 depending on how important it is to you. Add up the scores. Add in the following to the Pro's as these elements form part of all addictive behaviour. feeling safe and secure - score 10 quick and easy way to feel good - score 10 a dependable habit - score 10 Add up the scores again. Can you see how you may feel conflicted about your behaviour if you have both positive and negative feelings toward it? Now you should be able to see why you do what you do. We only ever do what we want to - because consciously or unconsciously we see more advantages in doing it than disadvantages in not doing it. The Pro's & Con's Score Sheet forms Part 1 of Revealing the Unconscious Will. This tool can appear to be a little complicated, so if you feel that you do not understand it, please email us with any questions or comments. This tool was originally designed for smokers but is in fact very useful for anyone who would like to relax and chill out. Would you like to know how to relax anywhere at anytime? You may be under the impression that smoking helps you to relax, but nicotine is a stimulant. Pretend you're lighting an imaginary cigarette that is totally healthy. Put this imaginary cigarette to your lips and take a long deep drag. Slowly exhale, then take another deep drag, then exhale, and take one last long drag … How do you feel? Deep diaphramic breathing is the source of our relaxation, it actually slows down and lengthens the frequency of our brain waves and calms the entire physiology of our body. This is how people breathe when meditating. You can use this technique anytime you would like to relax, and if you're a smoker you can get all the benefits of an imaginary cigarette anywhere and at any time. Rather than being unhealthy it actually promotes health - so feel free to smoke a whole pack! · Freedom from Addiction® Program Would you like to discover how to get some control over compulsive behaviour? Our Freedom from Addiction® Program is designed to show you how to make any life change you want to whatever you feel you are ready. · Contacts Would you like to discover more about how coaching can help move you toward a happier, more fulfilled and balanced life? Please feel free to … call us on 09-377 7732 to discuss how coaching may be able to take you forward in life … or, email us with any questions or comments info@paradigms.co.nz … or write to us at Paradigms Ltd, P O Box 78-393, Grey Lynn, Auckland 1002. · Free eZine Would you like to receive our free eZine - our newsletter by email - which is free and full of coaching tips and special offers? Just click here. · Free tools Our Free Tools page is packed with free coaching tools that show you how coaching can reveal new possibilities for living. To visit our Free Tools page click here. · Related topics Would you like to know more about the Coaching procedure and what happens next? Please visit the Being Coached page, or click here. Would you like more time? Who is your most important relationship with? What Self-esteem is Creating Wonderful Relationships What is "success"? Would you like to find a way Through the obstacles? Do you feel like you just can't be bothered? 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| p. (0064) 09 377 7732 m. (0064) 021 03 75 249 info@paradigms.co.nz P O Box 78-393, Grey Lynn, Auckland, New Zealand 1002 Website content copyright 2004. All Rights Reserved. |
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