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 Are you dealing with major life change? * Are you finding your feet in a new life space? Are you experiencing a divorce, a move, a new job, a change in life role, or a major loss? Are you entering into a time of significant life change? Or, maybe you have just come through some major life change and still feel a little off balance. Perhaps you would just like support to help get your life back into focus.Change brings loss and loss brings grief. But loss can also represent freedom, as change can mean the start of something new ... Have you experienced, or are experiencing, the following: · A relationship separation, divorce or relationship change · A change in your health status · A move to a new country or city · A change in life role - maybe becoming a caregiver · A bereavement · Family stress or change in situation · A redundancy or retirement · Major life change · A significant loss? Everyone who coaches through Paradigms Ltd has experienced significant life change, it is what has brought many of us to Coaching. I know that we will be able to offer some very useful guidance as you experience the life change process. Would you like some companionship and support as you enter the life change process? · Coaching tools It is not appropriate to suggest superficial tools if you are experiencing significant life change, the only ultimate healer is the passage of time. However, at times of great need we are very motivated to discover fresh perspectives and new ways of looking at old problems, and so we offer the following tools with the hope that they may be of help you.
· position a real or imaginary chair in front of you · place on the chair your biggest current worry or concern · now imagine a bigger worry (one that you don't already have!) · what are you thinking about? you have probably discovered that your previous worry, which was your biggest worry at the time, has now been displaced by your imagined bigger worry · now chase away your imaginary bigger worry, and place your current biggest worry back on the chair · now imagine that your current biggest worry has been resolved. Has your next biggest worry taken its place? Wouldn't you be worried about your next biggest worry if your current biggest worry was resolved? What does this tell you? · place your biggest current worry or concern back on the chair · try to leave it there and walk away smiling If someone came to your door and gave you $1,000,000 every day for a week and then stopped, would you be angry and distressed or thankful for having been given $1,000,000 every day for a week? If you hadn't spent it what would you be after a week? Even though you may not be receiving the $1,000,000 every day, aren't you grateful you received it for as long as you did? The Problem and The Opportunity · I have lost, what have I gained? · If every problem possesses the seeds of its own resolution, what is the opportunity in my problem, what is a possible resolution? · What is something good about this situation, no matter how small or insignificant? · Does this situation have a positive aspect? · Can I open myself up to my feelings a little more? What is something I can do to help me get in touch with my feelings? · Who can I turn to for support? · What can I take from experiencing this? What can I learn? How can I grow? · Am I flowing with the situation or fighting and resisting? · How can I create faith for the future and strength to go on? The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings. Eric Hoffer it is often very easy to answer the question "whats wrong" in our life. However, it is a wonderful thing to have a non-headache or a non-toothache but so often we do not think of the joy of not having these things until we experience them and then want them to go away. Similarly, isn'the it wonderful to be able to breathe whenever we like, or drink a glass of water, or be able to see? When we have them it is so easy to take them for granted. You may wish to try this exercise. 1. On a blank sheet of paper list all the things that are "wrong" in your life 2. On another sheet of paper list everything that's "not wrong" then throw away or burn the list of everything that's wrong and focus on whats right If you are experiencing difficulty finding anything positive in your life, you may be in a grief cycle, you may also wish to try this exercise that can help get you into a more positive space. Get a pad of paper and write down: · any happy memories from your life · people that have loved you, spent time with you, accepted validated and supported you
Would you like more time? Who is your most important relationship with? What Self-esteem is Creating Wonderful Relationships What is "success"? Would you like to find a way Through the obstacles? Do you feel like you just can't be bothered?   |
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| p. (0064) 09 377 7732 m. (0064) 021 03 75 249 info@paradigms.co.nz P O Box 78-393, Grey Lynn, Auckland, New Zealand 1002 Website content copyright 2004. All Rights Reserved. |
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